Self Portrait is a performance by Yacine Tilala Fall that highlights the often undisclosed, overlooked, and under-recognized journey Black women embark upon to define and actualize themselves.
As revealed through Fall’s physical performance, the journey to self-defining and actualization is an isolated, laborious, and deeply intense experience. Fall’s work, representative of Black women’s lived reality, involves the literal and figurative removal of the mask bestowed upon Black women. This mask is reflective of established cultural & societal norms and succinctly outlines whom a woman should be and how she is to best serve and exist in relationship to others. In the end, the work becomes a testimony to the enduring spirit of those Black women embarking along this journey to “ripping off the mask” and understanding one’s self in relationship to herself, first.
Self Portrait exists as respect to and acknowledgment of the lived reality of one’s lineage and ancestors, specifically, Fall’s mother and her immigration from Senegal to the United States. Fall’s performance honors the journey that her mother and countless other Black women embark upon- departing one established understanding of self to arrive at yet another, self-defined and sewn in place with radical self-respect.
Khadijah Wilson, Self Portrait (Yacine Tilala Fall), 2021
Steps To Ripping Off The Mask:
Stillness and Solitude:
Stillness and solitude provide initial moments of clarity before action.
Approaching The Work:
With each shift, movement, and stride, Fall begins to gauge the true extent of the boundaries in place and their restrictions on her body. Restrictions must be experienced and measured in totality before breaking free can occur.
Enduring Discomfort:
Discomfort and the desire to break free become evident as societal expectations become more restrictive and binding. This physical binding to the chair and mask is symbolic of how society binds Black women to standards and expectations not of their own creation.
Rest and Persevere:
Following emotional, mental, and spiritual fatigue comes periods of rest. Rest is indicative of the understanding that the journey to self love and self-actualization is not glamorous, but tiring. Gentleness towards one’s self in the fight for wholeness and undoing societal restraints is required for continuing forward.
Surrender To The Unknown:
In the midst of doing the work to remove the mask, most of the time is inevitably spent masked. Ultimately, one surrenders and understands that there is another experience to be had once the mask is removed. That exact experience is unknown but it must be better than the space one has been working tirelessly to depart.
Deliverance:
The mask is off. Introducing a new world of potential and possibility for Black women.
Akea Brionne Brown, Portrait of the Artist (2021).